Recommended Reading
The most practical book ever written and you simply must read it if you've got a kid who sometimes makes you feel frustrated:
Love and Logic Magic for the Early Years: Practical Parenting from Birth to Six Years - Jim Fay
I've read a bazillion parenting books. Really. Come check out my bookshelves! And one day, I'll update this page with good book titles. But in the meantime, if you only buy one parenting book in your entire life, THIS is the one. It's a really thin book packed with such clever and obvious tricks that I laughed out loud a few times at how simple and painless disciplining is supposed to be - for me AND the kid! The book promises to teach you how to parent "without breaking a sweat," and it follows through on that promise. So yeah, I don't know the author and no one's paying me for this opinion. I just know that I've used the tricks suggested and they've worked. Here's my best example so far: My husband and me and Milo were at a bowling alley and we were about to split up - I was taking Milo home to give him a bath and Curtis was going to pick up some dinner and then we'd all eat together when he got back. We were taking a long time to formulate our plan and Milo was getting annoyed. So he started hitting my legs, hard. I turned around, surprised and angry. "Milo! That's not okay! You need to say "I'm sorry Mommy, I won't hit you again." He got that face on; you know the one that says 'I know I'm wrong but I was mad at you before and now that you yelled at me and embarrassed me, I'm way madder than I was!" He balled up his little fists and loudly yelled "NO!" People turned and looked. Ooh, I started simmering. Then I stopped. The book, the book, what would they do in the book? I looked at him again and saw that he had a nickel and a dime in his hand that he'd found on the floor a few minutes before. I took a very sad tone, and said "Oh, that's too bad. I guess you'll have to give me your money then," and I held out my hand. His anger vanished, he tightened his grip on his money and said "I'm sorry, Mommy, I won't hit you again." And that was it. No tears, no lengthy speeches about respect and nonviolence, no sweat. He stopped hitting me and he apologized, which was exactly what I wanted to happen.
So yeah, the book rules!
Pregnancy and Childbirth:
What to Expect When You’re Expecting - Arlene Eisenberg, et al
This book simply has
everything. It's told in a matter of fact, frequently asked questions
style which makes it very easy to read, whether you want to read it cover to
cover or whether you want to look up something specific. It breaks the
chapters down by each month of pregnancy, telling you what changes your body is
in for every step of the way. I picked up a few books that were similar to
this and this book was the absolute best. I think every lady who gets
pregnant should keep this book very close though out all nine months.
The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy - Vicki Iovine
This lady is so great that every time I quoted her, I always started with "Well, my girlfriend says..." because I just loved her so much. My girlfriend tells it like it is, and, although it's not a medical book (get What to Expect When You're Expecting for that), I learned so much from her candid and funny writing. She talks about all the things you're way too embarrassed to ask anyone about!
I wish I didn't read:
The Secret Life of the Unborn Child - Thomas, M.D. Verny
I was interested in the book because it suggests that babies do a lot of learning while in utero. But the author suggests that women who miscarry do so because they were ambivalent about their pregnancies. That was it for me. I put the book down. Nothing like a little guilt to carry around! Sheesh!
Preemie Books
The Premature Baby Book - Helen Harrison, Ann Kositsky
Excellent baby stories that offer a lot of hope as well as good information. I haven’t found one that offers information for raising a preemie after the hospital. Our pediatrician, however, felt that, since Milo had no handicaps, other than being a preemie, we should go by his corrected age and treat him like a normal full term baby. It’s worked. And if your baby has handicaps, look for books dealing with that specific handicap for when they aren't in the NICU anymore, and, of course, do what your doctor tells you to do. I'm no expert over here!
First Year Books
The Girlfriend’s Guide to the First Year of Motherhood - Vicki Iovine
Again,
I love my girlfriend! I thought The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy
was funnier, but this was just as informative, and it gives an excellent (the
best I've seen) description of what post partum is like. You definitely
wouldn't want to read chapter one before you give birth!
What to Expect the First Year - Arlene Eisenberg, et al
Really,
just as good as What to Expect When You're Expecting, only instead
for the baby (and post partum). What makes this one better than the other
books I've read is the spectacular section it has on saftey. The pages are
highlighted in black, so you can pick up the book and instantly find the safety
section. It includes everything from bug bites to CPR (and goes in
alphabetical order according to the problem). Again, it breaks down its
chapters by month, and it gives suggestions of what you baby should be doing at
each stage. I liked the section on starting solids. I wasn't sure
exactly what and how much to feed the baby. I checked the book and didn't
need to call the pediatrician to ask!
Infants and Mothers - T. Berry Brazelton
Warning – this one has lots of outdated stuff in it, like it doesn't even mention car seats and it talks about giving babies bottles of water, but its still very much worth the read. It divides into sections: active baby, normal baby, and quiet baby, and shows how such radically different babies can fall into the 'normal' spectrum. It's very personalized, as it talks about individual babies, so it's a very easy and informative read.
Touchpoints – T. Berry Brazelton
This
one stretches past the first year, but offers really great advice - especially
for specific problems that you will encounter. I found it invaluable for
the "Crying" chapter alone. What to Expect the First Year
tells you about the physical and developmental progress of your baby. This
book is more the emotional development of both babies and new parents. He
breaks his chapters down by months, and then also has chapters dealing with
specific issues, like sleep, crying, etc.
Breastfeeding
The Reality of Breastfeeding - Amy Benson Brown (Editor), Kathryn Read McPherson (Editor)
This book was truly the best, most helpful book I've read. Each chapter is a personal account by a different woman who has had difficulties with breastfeeding. When Milo and I started out, really for more than a month, we had a terrible time. His latch wasn't good. He was constantly, round the clock breastfeeding. I was so sore, my eyes would cross every time we started. But I kept this book next to our rocker. And every time I wanted to quit, I'd read a story in this book. And it always reminded me that my goal, what I really wanted for my baby, was to breastfeed for at least a year. I think that every nursing mom should look to her lactation consultant for the "how to's" of breastfeeding. But when you know what you're supposed to be doing and nothing is going right anyway, and you're starting to feel like you want to give up, get this book.
I also really liked the La Leche League web site. Their advice is really great as well.
Last updated 9/30/99